Monday, March 23, 2009


So. Remind me to never bitch about having a date accidentally give me a black eye (refer to earlier blog, please, but if you're too lazy to go back and check rest assured it's alcohol's fault) because earlier tonight the guy I went on a date with, the guy who had been tracking me and pursuing me for YEARS and was all, I love you, please marry me, let me buy you things, what do you want me to kill for you (ok, to be honest, when he asked that last one I was a little frightened) HEADBUTTED ME. DURING OUR DATE.

And then he dumped me. Unbelievable.

Who cares about personal growth or the fact that he's cutting back on stealing locks of hair from my shower drain? Did he really have to make our date all about him?

The answer is yes, yes he did. And this was AFTER I gave him all the stuff that I thought would make the night go better, like my mom's telephone number or the lock of hair. And I paid like $35 for that bra. Well, Brooke did, anyways. STILL.

So here I am, thinking romance or at least another dinner was looming on the horizon, he makes eyes at me from across the couch, I close my eyes, try to picture Seth McFarland to get in the mood, and BAM.

No, I'm not exaggerating. I literally heard a BAM as his forehead cracked into my nose. And then he got me some tissues, walked me to the door, and told me off. AND he kept the bra.

What a crappy date. Sometimes stalkers are SO selfish.

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